27 hours after my last waking i am here in scotland. how fortunate i am. better that i share words of jon kabat-zinn from his book coming to our senses, which speak for me far better than my own words at the moment in my nearly non-existent blogwomanship capabilites and too many hours of being awake and having to function at this level:
…Have you ever heard yourself say, “I didn’t have a moment to catch my breath!” when describing an episode during the day when you were going flat out to get omething done, so you could move on to something else or get to the airport, or finally fall into bed?
We say it so facilely. “I didn’t have a moment to catch my breath”.
Linger with that one for a moment. Is it true?
Or is it that we didn’t think, or know to think that we actually could take a moment to orient, to ground ourselves in the body, to feel the breath and whatever tension and strain might be in both body and mind? If we can recognize what we are really doing and what we are really feeling in any given moment, we might be able to influence how we are in relationship to what is happening right in the very moment or string of moments in which things are unfolding. We could then choose to keep moving at the same pace or we might find that we could back off a bit to good advantage and be more present and therefore perhaps ultimately more effective. We might even realize the folly of the way in which our desire to get it all done generates feeling chronically rushed or overwhelmed, which in turn makes it more likely that whatever we are doing, we are engaged in, is likely to suffer at least somewhat, if it does not wind up being severely compromised.” … J. K-Z
this is why i am in scotland. i am seeking refuge and retreat. these many, many years in conservatory and all of the striving, and all of the necessary pressures that exists in creating a “diamond”, within such a dramatic community, i need the WELL.
tomorrrow, Iona. it will take the day to arrive, and then i will enter the silence and see if there can begin some sort of re-configuration of my soul.
i am traveling in the best of company. they have administered good medicine all along. we have laughed so outloud that we have had the near-by strangers wishing they were a HAG[GUS], too. the lightness is good, it is mixing well with the chronic. Trish
